Patriotism

In connection of me going to military service, I've started to think of whether or not I am a patriot to my country. As I discovered, it divides into two components - first being the love for my country, the people who live here  and our culture, second the loyalty to the institution of the country aka the government.

For the first aspect I can truly say that I am a patriot. I love the freedom we have, the food we eat, the lack of natural disasters, that we can live quite comfortably and still have a little change in our pockets and much more. Every time I travel to a different country, I still discover that Estonia is the best place on Earth to live in. This is the country I was born to, therefore making it my home. If there was a crack in my home wall and as long as it doesn't affect my health, it wouldn't even matter to me, because overall it is the best place to be anyway. From time to time I may have illusions that some other country is way better but every time I look closely I see that it isn't. The indescribable feeling I get every time I return from abroad is good enough of a proof for me that I still love my country.

However, the second aspect is the one causing troubles. Every now and then I happen to notice the foolishness spreading among the representatives and that makes me kinda sad. Whether it is wasting of tax-money, corruption or anything of that kind, I feel like they are trying to hurt something I love - my country. So in terms of loving the institution of the country named Estonia, I am not a patriot. That could also be the reason I am not the model citizen they would love to see me as, obeying every rule no matter the stupidity of it.

Therefore, for me our government is the crack in my home, in my country. As I see myself unable to fix it alone, I either have to live with it and still keep on trying or leave my home behind. I see many of our best minds already going for the second option. Perhaps the crack is too big for them and affecting their "health" already. At the moment I still have hope that things will get better and someday I will be able to help the people of Estonia without the middle man working against me I don't want to leave things dearest to me behind, but I would also like to see, that this is something our government also wants. By the latest actions it seems quite the opposite, like the government is trying to drive smart people away by not caring of the things they want and need. Instead we are doing everything we can to help those who doesn't care about themselves nor their country. Actually, that is already entirely different topic. What I am trying to say is that people wouldn't leave this country if government managed to show them that this is something they also want.

The military service is exactly the kind of I-don't-care-about-you-just-do-what-we-ask-of-you message I've been given. Anyway, there is nothing I can do about it even though I could have had the chance to wiggle away, but I was just too lazy and adventurous to go for it. That means I'm stuck with it, but still optimistic.

I've also started a new blog dedicated to describing my life and thoughts in military service. You can find it from the side bar under Captain Taavi. The name is just for humor, even though I am going to the navy, I will never be a captain (although I would love to be, just so I could stress it every time I am being addressed to)